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In 1979, on a school skiing trip, PE
teacher Tony Mammoth is engulfed by an

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avalanche.

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Perfectly preserved, he remains hidden
under the snow until he is found, and

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miraculously brought back to life, 42
years later.

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Nine months have now passed, a lifetime
in the world of 24 -hour news.

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Mammoth Celebrity has faded, and his
life can finally start to return to

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Happy birthday, Rog.

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I don't do cards.

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The hot chocolate gig, you got them.

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Thank you.

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Brilliant. I love hot chocolate. Me too.

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Errol Brown, eh? What a voice.

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Mammoth Errol Brown is dead.

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He died a few years ago.

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How can he be? Errol Brown is hot
chocolate. No, Errol Brown was the

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the band called Hot Chocolate.

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Oh, God.

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This is going to be our Debbie, Harry
and Blondie conversation all over again.

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Don't tell me Blondie's dead.

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Debbie, Harry is alive and well.

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Go for that.

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Seventy. Shit.

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How did that happen?

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How do you think I feel?

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One minute I'm sipping a pina colada in
a ski lodge and you're coming here after

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all. Next minute I'm rolling up an air
mattress in an old people's home. And

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look like Hot Chocolate's granddad.
Errol Brown's. Errol Brown's granddad.

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I'm thinking of asking Barbara to the
pub with us for lunch.

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About time, too. She's got any single
friends?

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Mammoth, she's 80.

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They're all single.

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Good point.

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Second thoughts, don't ask her.

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No offense.

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Listen, Mammoth, some people have been
talking.

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They're getting suspicious about this.

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You know, you being here all the time.
Why? You're here all the time?

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Yes, but I live here.

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Fine. I get it. You don't know about a
friend in need.

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Don't, Mammoth. I need this place.

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If they find out you're staying here,
they'll kick us both out.

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You need to move on.

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Fine. Just ask yourself this.

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Would I ever do it to you? You used to
kick me out of the flat every time you

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brought someone back, which was a lot.

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I had to sleep in the car some nights.
Yeah, and whose car was it, Roger?

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It was my car. Mammoth, it was my flat.

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Exactly.

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Teamwork.

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Didn't realise it was fancy dress.

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Very witty.

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As you know, I'm in marathon training.

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As you know, Cain, and marathon is
training.

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Because jogging's not sport, is it?

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Jogging's something people do to get
ready to play actual sport.

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The London Marathon is the biggest
sporting event in this country.

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40 ,000 runners, 750 ,000 spectators.

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750 ,000 people.

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There's nothing better to do on a Sunday
than lean over some railings watching

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strangers jog.

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Millions more on the television.

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What if I'm not lucky with all the
sport?

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I bet Dickie Davis is turning in his
grave.

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If he's dead, is Dickie Davis dead?

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I have no idea.

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Now, I'd love to chat to you about the
good old days, but we need to talk about

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Liberty Curtis.

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Have you read that email I sent you?

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No, because A, I never read any emails
ever, and B, C, A.

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That's helpful.

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Well, I'll summarise.

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His non -participation...

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is unacceptable, especially during an
inspection year.

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Now, I've challenged him on this, and I
don't want to.

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Isn't it a bad excuse?

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Life isn't that easy.

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Yeah, it's been really easy growing up
in a civil war. That war was several

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years ago. Now, I know you have trouble
grasping this concept, Mama, but time

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moves on.

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As his form teacher, from today, you'll
record all refusals to take pattern

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lessons on this form.

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No, I won't.

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He's a good kid and he's been through a
lot.

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Stretch out, mammoth.

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Use the pot.

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You know, my father used to tell me
stories about teaching with you. All

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Do you know what word he used to
describe you?

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Gifted?

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Incorrigible. He did do that as well.

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They should never have given you a job
back here.

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Yeah, they didn't give me a job back
here, did they?

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I never left.

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You may think you're cool, coming back
here after 40 years, strutting about the

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place like a suntanned peacock, reeking
of old aftershave, and doing your silly

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little impressions and being popular.

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But we're professionals.

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You don't rise to become a headteacher
by being liked.

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Luckily for you.

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Let me guess.

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Cain again?

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What?

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Well, he just asked me to fill a form on
liberty.

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Snitch, in other words.

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Well, I'm no Huggy Bear. What's a Huggy
Bear?

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Who is Huggy Bear?

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He's asking Hutch's informant. Well, I
don't know who they are. Are you more

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about boys in paperwork?

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No. Because it should be about liberty.

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Cain's such a dick, Lucy. I mean, you
and I are different, right? Completely

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different. But we make a great team.
We're like Sonny and Cher.

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In fact... She left Sonny because he was
an arsehole to her, and no, you can't.

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Can't what?

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Can't stay at mine for a few days again.

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Last time was worth six months of my
life. Worth six months? How? The

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was on my door all day.

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They don't care about me any more.
What's with that frozen Japanese bird

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ages ago? Ages ago used to be the last
time somebody used the word bird to

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describe a woman.

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Old habit, sorry.

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What about telling my sister to get a
life for liking Katy Perry and to check

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out... Deely Dan.

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Yeah, she'll thank me for that one day.
Oh, one day when she's nine?

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And there's the fact, every time a
girlfriend came over, you talked to her

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Billie Jean King.

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I do mean every single time.

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Yeah, a wonderful tennis player and a
strong, inspirational woman.

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Great, but you don't have to talk to a
lesbian only about other lesbians. I was

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chit -chatting. Or chit -chat about a
job, or her interests, or a lesbian we

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didn't have to Google. I was showing
solidarity.

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In the 1970s, it was... Oh, I've had all
the time. The bloody 1970s. What have I

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got now?

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Dollar the telly.

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Dollar the music.

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Dollar the cars. Dollar the clothes.

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My old street's a car park.

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Oh, yeah.

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I'm currently sleeping on the floor of
an old people's home.

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Well, you are 86.

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Liberty word, please.

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Mr. Kane's been to see me.

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You need to start taking part in the
lessons, sir. All of them. Understand?

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I don't want to get any fluted.

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Now, if there's a problem, come and talk
to me.

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What's the matter?

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I don't fit in.

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You don't fit in.

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Look at me.

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All the best people don't fit in.

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Listen, I've had it tough, all right?

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I'm not going to pretend I know how
tough. You've had it because I don't.

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The things get better, trust me.

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I'm going to try and help you as much as
I can.

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It's like what Reynolds said.

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I can tell the young person where the
mines are, but they're probably going to

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step on them anyway.

156
00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:10,940
Oh, the mine's like an underground bomb.

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You step on it and... My uncle was
killed by a

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mine.

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And you know who Burt Reynolds is.

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Put your kit on.

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Liberty, stop.

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Everyone stop.

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Uniforms back on, please.

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Boys, a lot of whining going on, OK?

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00:08:47,521 --> 00:08:51,439
Did Jonathan E worry about getting grass
stains on his leather trousers in

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rollerball?

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00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:53,870
Exactly.

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And that's Jonathan E.

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00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:57,130
Remember?

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Jonathan. Jonathan.

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Jonathan.

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All right.

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Rollerball was just a film.

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And it was indoors.

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But that's not the point.

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My back's playing up.

177
00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:13,000
I'm going to car wrap this one.

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Play the horn.

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No diving.

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Skins kick off.

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Have you sorted out the liberty?

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Doctor. Sorry to keep you right.

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Heart rate, excellent. Blood pressure,
excellent.

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00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:07,630
Lung function, good.

185
00:10:08,310 --> 00:10:11,680
Eyesight and hearing, excellent.
Cognitive function, excellent.

186
00:10:12,050 --> 00:10:14,400
Muscular strength and endurance,
excellent.

187
00:10:14,650 --> 00:10:16,010
BMI, good.

188
00:10:16,011 --> 00:10:20,089
A remarkable set of results, especially
considering the circumstances.

189
00:10:20,090 --> 00:10:23,629
However, something did come up that we'd
somehow missed till now. You have an

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STI.

191
00:10:26,370 --> 00:10:29,270
A what? A sexually transmitted
infection.

192
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:46,189
It's nothing to be too concerned about.
Make an appointment and we'll soon get

193
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it cleared up. We can also discuss your
erectile issue.

194
00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:05,310
This takes it off speakerphone.

195
00:11:05,311 --> 00:11:09,209
Very helpful, thank you. And don't go
talking about that stuff either. It's

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00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:10,260
confidential.

197
00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:11,730
And temporary.

198
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:14,510
You realise you have to inform your
sexual partners?

199
00:11:14,700 --> 00:11:18,060
What? All of them? In 12 months, we'll
have the sex, yeah.

200
00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:20,480
We'll have sex in December 1979.

201
00:11:22,460 --> 00:11:23,510
Bloody hell.

202
00:11:26,931 --> 00:11:28,679
What's that?

203
00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:29,960
Do me a favour, please.

204
00:11:30,860 --> 00:11:31,910
Use your Google.

205
00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,460
See how many of these you can find a
number for.

206
00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:35,960
I'm not your bloody PA.

207
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:39,410
Jesus, Mama.

208
00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:41,220
I know. Very good year, 1979.

209
00:11:42,380 --> 00:11:43,580
Maybe we'll work on that.

210
00:11:43,780 --> 00:11:44,830
A donkey?

211
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:46,900
Lucy, the 70s were a golden age.

212
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:48,650
There was no AIDS.

213
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:53,940
Nobody had an STI. AIDS starts in the
1970s and you have an STI.

214
00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:56,680
You really... Where are you going?

215
00:11:56,681 --> 00:11:57,899
To see Claire.

216
00:11:57,900 --> 00:11:59,700
Pop to the shop. Do you want anything?

217
00:11:59,701 --> 00:12:01,639
Have you sorted out the literacy stuff?

218
00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:02,690
I'm on it.

219
00:12:04,340 --> 00:12:05,900
Please, I'll buy you a marathon.

220
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:07,640
It's called Snickers.

221
00:12:07,641 --> 00:12:09,419
And I'm a vegan, remember?

222
00:12:09,420 --> 00:12:11,470
Yeah, I said a marathon, not a bacon
roll.

223
00:12:11,540 --> 00:12:12,860
This liquor contains milk.

224
00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:14,730
Sort of coconut.

225
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:16,440
Coconut milk is different.

226
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:20,650
Fine, I'll buy you whatever they call a
bounty these days, all right? Please.

227
00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:39,090
Why are you here?

228
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:42,930
I ask myself that question every day,
Claire.

229
00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:44,350
Why am I here?

230
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,640
I mean, why are you here in my office?

231
00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:48,999
My PA explained to you that I can't see
you today.

232
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,299
Could you let me know a little bit
earlier?

233
00:12:50,300 --> 00:12:52,859
She tried to call you at home, but there
was no answer.

234
00:12:52,860 --> 00:12:54,540
You are just not competent at work.

235
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:55,690
Could have used a CB.

236
00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:03,830
It really would make life a lot easier
if you had a mobile phone.

237
00:13:03,940 --> 00:13:07,310
So I can stare at it like a zombie, 24
hours a day like everybody else.

238
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:12,559
No, but it's among its many other uses.
Your psychiatrist PA could call you to

239
00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:13,610
rearrange sessions.

240
00:13:13,611 --> 00:13:17,219
You know that kid Liberty that I was
telling you about? We're not doing this

241
00:13:17,220 --> 00:13:18,270
now.

242
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:19,820
I get it. You're stressed.

243
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:24,939
How about we have a quick chat over
Liberty and I make you a nice big pina

244
00:13:24,940 --> 00:13:30,459
colada. I don't like pina coladas, so...
Well, you've never tried a pina colada

245
00:13:30,460 --> 00:13:31,199
the mammoth way.

246
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:35,299
If the mammoth way is one part coconut
cream, three parts Bacardi, three parts

247
00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:38,970
pineapple juice, shaken with ice and
served with a maraschino cherry as

248
00:13:39,020 --> 00:13:40,260
then yes, I have.

249
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:41,640
And it was disgusting.

250
00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:44,090
Ah.

251
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,790
But a mammoth way contains a special
ingredient.

252
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:50,010
Cocktail umbrella.

253
00:13:51,420 --> 00:13:53,280
Tempting. But still no.

254
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,730
Now, I really have to finish some
paperwork.

255
00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:59,580
See my PA and reschedule for next week.

256
00:13:59,581 --> 00:14:01,179
Maybe join us for a drink later.

257
00:14:01,180 --> 00:14:03,840
No. I am your psychiatrist.

258
00:14:04,860 --> 00:14:05,910
You're my patient.

259
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:09,530
You've been through a traumatic,
challenging experience.

260
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,120
My job is to help you adjust to modern
life.

261
00:14:12,121 --> 00:14:15,799
And I have adjusted to modern life. So
now maybe I can stop being a patient and

262
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:16,880
start being a friend?

263
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,210
Not the matter.

264
00:14:18,860 --> 00:14:22,180
Two weeks ago, you offered to take me
for a spin in the Capri.

265
00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:26,300
Of course I did. Last week, you bought
my PA that.

266
00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:32,499
And today, you tried to make me a pina
colada at work. I'd say there's still

267
00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:33,550
some adjusting to do.

268
00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:35,140
Make the appointment.

269
00:14:36,980 --> 00:14:41,219
No thanks, Claire. My six months is up.
Further attendance is advised, not

270
00:14:41,220 --> 00:14:44,120
required. I like you, Claire. I like our
chats.

271
00:14:44,660 --> 00:14:48,900
But if it's OK with you, I'll go back to
doing things the old -fashioned way.

272
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:52,020
By talking to my friends down the pub.

273
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,990
Your pub is a sports shop and nearly all
your friends are dead.

274
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:00,850
Bye.

275
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,430
So apparently a heavy course of
antibiotics should shift it.

276
00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:16,999
Didn't it bite Barbara, then?

277
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,190
I'm out of practice, Mammoth. You were
never really in practice.

278
00:15:20,460 --> 00:15:21,510
More of a wingman.

279
00:15:21,940 --> 00:15:24,280
My pilot cracked in 1979.

280
00:15:24,281 --> 00:15:28,389
Yeah. Well, he survived, and now he's
making a comeback. A comeback!

281
00:15:28,390 --> 00:15:31,530
Living in a retirement home. Not exactly
top gun.

282
00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:33,030
I don't know who that is.

283
00:15:33,430 --> 00:15:36,740
And I'm not living there. Keep telling
me. My house is being rewired.

284
00:15:36,741 --> 00:15:39,649
Hal Needham lived at Bert Reynolds'
place for 12 years.

285
00:15:39,650 --> 00:15:42,610
Yeah, in a separate house next to Bert's
swimming pool.

286
00:15:42,890 --> 00:15:45,480
Bert didn't have to share his tiny
bedroom with him.

287
00:15:45,481 --> 00:15:49,209
Bert didn't have to climb over Hal's air
mattress to go for a piss in the middle

288
00:15:49,210 --> 00:15:50,260
of the night. Fine.

289
00:15:50,430 --> 00:15:51,990
I'll talk to you later, Kristen.

290
00:15:53,990 --> 00:15:55,040
That's how true it is.

291
00:16:01,380 --> 00:16:02,430
Well, well.

292
00:16:02,900 --> 00:16:07,039
If it isn't Tony, I've his wicked way
with you. Then don't even bother to call

293
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:08,019
your mama.

294
00:16:08,020 --> 00:16:09,880
Judy Jones, what a nice surprise.

295
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:14,100
I mean, to be fair, Judy, I was
technically dead for a while. Yeah,

296
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:15,800
I saw the telly.

297
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:17,380
That was last year.

298
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,420
And you don't look particularly dead to
me now.

299
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,080
I wondered if our paths would cross.

300
00:16:23,081 --> 00:16:27,349
Well, don't think just because you're
still sex on legs that I'm going to

301
00:16:27,350 --> 00:16:32,730
suddenly forget and let you jump into my
bed at 24 Rainer Road just behind us.

302
00:16:35,130 --> 00:16:36,850
She was a hell of a girl, Judy Jo.

303
00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:38,330
You're not wrong.

304
00:16:45,730 --> 00:16:51,589
As for you, Roger Buck, if you've got
something to say to me, I suggest you

305
00:16:51,590 --> 00:16:52,640
it to my face.

306
00:16:52,940 --> 00:16:57,320
preferably on a Wednesday or a Thursday
evening after 7pm.

307
00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:03,179
And if there's a Mazda Bongo outside,
just keep on walking. Try again in about

308
00:17:03,180 --> 00:17:04,230
half an hour.

309
00:17:10,740 --> 00:17:11,790
Listen, Roger.

310
00:17:14,140 --> 00:17:16,000
I'm just struggling with being alone.

311
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:18,000
I've been ever since I came back.

312
00:17:18,940 --> 00:17:20,160
There is no rewire.

313
00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:21,950
I knew.

314
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:24,290
Of course you did.

315
00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:25,880
You should have known better.

316
00:17:26,839 --> 00:17:28,639
We can't hide things from each other.

317
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:30,890
We never could.

318
00:17:31,460 --> 00:17:33,420
You feel my pain, my sense of loss.

319
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:35,620
You see behind this mask.

320
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:38,200
We've got an unspoken bond.

321
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:39,890
A deep connection.

322
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:41,890
It's very special.

323
00:17:42,540 --> 00:17:44,260
Your house is a new build.

324
00:17:44,780 --> 00:17:46,120
Wasn't even a good lie.

325
00:17:46,860 --> 00:17:51,059
The bloke once told a girl he was in
Boney M. I think I got away with it. She

326
00:17:51,060 --> 00:17:52,680
was a music teacher at our school.

327
00:17:52,860 --> 00:17:56,140
The school you taught English in. I was
intoxicated by her beauty.

328
00:17:56,500 --> 00:17:58,180
You were definitely intoxicated.

329
00:17:58,340 --> 00:18:01,650
Although your Cossack dance in the
Rasputin was very impressive.

330
00:18:01,651 --> 00:18:03,319
Especially after you split your
trousers.

331
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,440
It was a shame how I carried on.

332
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:09,380
That was a nice amount of Rihanna.

333
00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:14,420
Any chance of you getting a round in
before my next birthday?

334
00:18:18,141 --> 00:18:20,739
What can I get you, lovely?

335
00:18:20,740 --> 00:18:22,420
Two pina coladas, please, Kirsty.

336
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,080
One with no booze in it.

337
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:25,660
And whatever you're having.

338
00:18:26,580 --> 00:18:29,170
Thanks, but I can't accept a drink when
I'm working.

339
00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:30,440
How about after work?

340
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:33,850
Hello.

341
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:36,540
Someone called Lucy for you.

342
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:38,150
Hi,

343
00:18:39,860 --> 00:18:42,630
Lucy. Haven't had a row with your
girlfriend, have you?

344
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,090
What? No.

345
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:45,600
Why was I calling if I asked?

346
00:18:46,020 --> 00:18:47,580
Came on to see you about Liberty.

347
00:18:47,740 --> 00:18:48,790
Said it's urgent.

348
00:18:48,791 --> 00:18:50,829
What are you doing? You've been ages.

349
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,750
Yeah, the session's taken ages.

350
00:18:53,910 --> 00:18:58,189
Dr Davies says I'm finally unlocking my
inner truth. Mammoth, I'm calling you on

351
00:18:58,190 --> 00:19:00,240
the pub phone. Get your arse back here
now.

352
00:19:03,690 --> 00:19:04,740
Friend of mine.

353
00:19:05,370 --> 00:19:06,420
Lesbian.

354
00:19:08,690 --> 00:19:09,740
What are you doing?

355
00:19:10,170 --> 00:19:11,870
Your minibus risk assessment.

356
00:19:12,470 --> 00:19:15,300
Ridiculous. So driving a minibus after
school is risky?

357
00:19:15,330 --> 00:19:19,180
Throwing spears with kids during school
is fine. We don't do javelin anymore.

358
00:19:19,270 --> 00:19:20,320
What?

359
00:19:20,710 --> 00:19:22,870
Or discus. We're shocked what Cain said.

360
00:19:23,070 --> 00:19:25,300
We are doing them. I don't care what
Cain said.

361
00:19:25,301 --> 00:19:27,009
Those events were his only chest.

362
00:19:27,010 --> 00:19:29,189
People these days don't want to hear a
chest.

363
00:19:29,190 --> 00:19:30,240
Really?

364
00:19:31,350 --> 00:19:33,910
Oh, yeah, yeah. You're a dinosaur.

365
00:19:35,530 --> 00:19:36,580
Here's 10p.

366
00:19:36,750 --> 00:19:38,190
Go and find someone who cares.

367
00:19:38,930 --> 00:19:39,980
What's 10p for?

368
00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:43,410
Payphone. You put the 10p in and you...
Doesn't matter.

369
00:19:44,110 --> 00:19:49,330
Speaking about phones, I found one of
those names in your tragic little book.

370
00:19:49,550 --> 00:19:50,600
Really?

371
00:19:53,250 --> 00:19:54,490
Oh, bloody hell.

372
00:19:56,670 --> 00:19:57,720
Wish me luck.

373
00:20:08,370 --> 00:20:09,930
Hi, is my winner there, please?

374
00:20:10,350 --> 00:20:11,890
Yeah, it's Tony Mammoth.

375
00:20:14,150 --> 00:20:15,200
Not Vlad, is it?

376
00:20:15,750 --> 00:20:17,370
Hi, Vlad, how are you? Yeah, good.

377
00:20:17,770 --> 00:20:20,000
Listen, Vlad, I need to speak to your
mother.

378
00:20:22,150 --> 00:20:23,200
Really?

379
00:20:24,630 --> 00:20:25,680
2015.

380
00:20:26,010 --> 00:20:27,060
It's a pity.

381
00:20:27,090 --> 00:20:28,650
She was a lovely woman, your mum.

382
00:20:29,710 --> 00:20:33,050
Listen, Vlad, how did your mum die?

383
00:20:35,330 --> 00:20:37,190
Heart attack. Brilliant. Thanks, Vlad.

384
00:20:38,870 --> 00:20:40,150
Brilliant? Wow.

385
00:20:40,850 --> 00:20:43,020
Did you really have sex with people's
mum?

386
00:20:43,021 --> 00:20:44,079
Of course.

387
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:45,400
Why not? We're both single.

388
00:20:45,980 --> 00:20:47,540
Made sure Vlad never phoned out.

389
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:49,330
Irina fell over.

390
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:50,450
What a woman.

391
00:20:50,451 --> 00:20:51,999
You'd have loved her.

392
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,110
Really put the pair at a pair this
evening.

393
00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:55,550
Oh, yeah.

394
00:20:57,940 --> 00:21:00,140
You don't have to phone all those, you
know.

395
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:01,770
What?

396
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:03,220
It was a wind -up.

397
00:21:05,260 --> 00:21:06,310
You pillock.

398
00:21:06,311 --> 00:21:07,859
Well, you enjoyed that, did you?

399
00:21:07,860 --> 00:21:09,160
I did, actually.

400
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:12,490
Right.

401
00:21:13,660 --> 00:21:14,740
I've got a free lesson.

402
00:21:14,741 --> 00:21:16,819
Cade wants to see you about Liberty,
remember?

403
00:21:16,820 --> 00:21:18,380
As I said, I've got a free lesson.

404
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:19,610
Now, Mama.

405
00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:22,199
All right, I'll go and see him now. Just
not right now.

406
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:25,320
By the way, even though you don't
deserve it...

407
00:22:01,550 --> 00:22:03,050
You finally decided to join us.

408
00:22:03,850 --> 00:22:05,590
I didn't realise it was fancy dress.

409
00:22:05,690 --> 00:22:06,740
Funny when I said it.

410
00:22:07,630 --> 00:22:09,010
It's called relaxing, Cain.

411
00:22:09,011 --> 00:22:10,049
Quite some time.

412
00:22:10,050 --> 00:22:11,550
Anyway, I'm doing you a favour.

413
00:22:11,790 --> 00:22:12,870
I've got a free lesson.

414
00:22:12,871 --> 00:22:15,329
A free lesson doesn't mean you're free
to do as you please.

415
00:22:15,330 --> 00:22:16,950
Don't call it a free lesson, then.

416
00:22:17,350 --> 00:22:20,180
What do you want? To deal with some very
serious matters.

417
00:22:20,181 --> 00:22:23,489
Chair of Governors, Miss Ronson, is here
to see if the board needs to take them

418
00:22:23,490 --> 00:22:24,540
further.

419
00:22:24,770 --> 00:22:29,469
Now, Mr Mammoth, is it true that when
challenged this morning about his

420
00:22:29,470 --> 00:22:33,200
participation... Liberty Curtis threw
his bag at you.

421
00:22:33,700 --> 00:22:35,100
No, Cain, that's not true.

422
00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:37,030
Interesting.

423
00:22:37,180 --> 00:22:38,680
Has he already admitted to it?

424
00:22:39,980 --> 00:22:44,140
I asked to see Liberty's bag. He threw
his bag to me. There's a big difference.

425
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:46,340
Is this what happened, Liberty?

426
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:52,630
Yes, I think you can move on to your
second point, Mr Cain.

427
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:54,810
Very well.

428
00:22:55,980 --> 00:22:58,680
Mr Mammoth, the lesson in which
Liberty...

429
00:22:59,419 --> 00:23:00,800
Packed his bag to you.

430
00:23:00,801 --> 00:23:04,559
Consisted solely of the entire class
playing a game of football in their

431
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:08,110
uniforms. Half of them were not even
wearing their shirts. Is that true?

432
00:23:08,300 --> 00:23:11,940
He took out on Columbo. Couldn't find
the bibs. He played shirts against

433
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:13,130
What's the big deal?

434
00:23:13,260 --> 00:23:15,560
It is extremely inappropriate.

435
00:23:15,561 --> 00:23:17,459
Me and the kids didn't think so.

436
00:23:17,460 --> 00:23:21,060
Well, yes. I'm afraid this school isn't
a democracy.

437
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:26,099
Regardless, once this rag -tag kickabout
was underway, you decided to leave the

438
00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:28,320
class unsupervised so that you could...

439
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:31,180
And I can't quite believe I'm saying
this.

440
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,220
Smoke your pipe in your car.

441
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:36,930
Wrong again, OK? They weren't
unsupervised.

442
00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:40,180
I referee the game from my car. It's
called car reffing.

443
00:23:40,181 --> 00:23:43,339
And don't bother looking up on your
little computer, either, because I

444
00:23:43,340 --> 00:23:44,390
it.

445
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:49,299
I'm not going to smoke my pipe in my
car, because I get terrible back pain

446
00:23:49,300 --> 00:23:50,099
the avalanche.

447
00:23:50,100 --> 00:23:53,639
40 years in the snow wasn't enough ice
and rest, was it? That's quite funny for

448
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:56,479
you. The fact is, Cain, a lesser person
would have taken more time off, right?

449
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,489
But when it comes to injuries, I'm with
evil can evil.

450
00:23:58,490 --> 00:23:59,369
Pain is temporary.

451
00:23:59,370 --> 00:24:00,349
Bones heal.

452
00:24:00,350 --> 00:24:01,490
Chick dig scars.

453
00:24:03,130 --> 00:24:04,930
Mr Marmot, this is very troubling.

454
00:24:05,470 --> 00:24:09,949
Apart from ignoring schemes of work,
there are huge health and safety and

455
00:24:09,950 --> 00:24:14,429
implications. You allowed a class to do
virtually as they please just to make

456
00:24:14,430 --> 00:24:15,990
the lesson easier for yourself.

457
00:24:16,070 --> 00:24:17,120
He did it for me.

458
00:24:18,370 --> 00:24:20,530
My kit is too small. It's embarrassing.

459
00:24:20,910 --> 00:24:23,380
Mr Marmot said I could do the lesson in
my uniform.

460
00:24:23,550 --> 00:24:26,920
He made everyone else wear their uniform
so I wouldn't feel stupid.

461
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:28,760
Is this true, Mr Mammoth?

462
00:24:29,740 --> 00:24:30,790
No.

463
00:24:31,180 --> 00:24:33,590
Well, I suppose that was at least well
intended.

464
00:24:34,780 --> 00:24:36,700
And spending the lesson in your car?

465
00:24:38,020 --> 00:24:40,970
Yeah, that was mostly about... I was
smoked, to be honest, I am.

466
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:43,370
It's Miss Ronson.

467
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:45,840
I think I've heard enough, Mr Cain.

468
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:51,500
I believe Mr Mammoth used unorthodox
methods to achieve a commendable goal.

469
00:24:53,100 --> 00:24:55,140
Anything to add, Mr Cain? No.

470
00:24:56,840 --> 00:25:01,280
Just to thank you all for your time and
your interpretation of events.

471
00:25:03,380 --> 00:25:06,210
If you could see yourselves out, I have
a lot of work to do.

472
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:15,570
Look at me.

473
00:25:15,571 --> 00:25:16,819
Well, aren't we?

474
00:25:16,820 --> 00:25:17,739
Proud of you.

475
00:25:17,740 --> 00:25:18,790
Look, sir.

476
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:20,770
Who is Evo Knievel?

477
00:25:20,771 --> 00:25:24,319
Only the greatest motorcycle stuntman of
all time.

478
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:25,820
Saw him live in Wembley in 1975.

479
00:25:26,350 --> 00:25:27,400
Had a huge crash.

480
00:25:27,510 --> 00:25:28,560
Almost died.

481
00:25:29,090 --> 00:25:31,800
In Las Vegas, he had a massive crash
near St. Fountains.

482
00:25:32,270 --> 00:25:35,810
1974, Snake River Canyon. He crashed a
rocket. Did he always crash?

483
00:25:35,811 --> 00:25:40,049
I mean, usually, yeah. Because he was
trying to push himself to the limit. You

484
00:25:40,050 --> 00:25:43,690
know, he wanted to prove, hey, the
impossible, always possible.

485
00:25:45,210 --> 00:25:48,040
But he didn't do that, did he? Because
he always crashed.

486
00:25:48,670 --> 00:25:49,970
Yes, but in style, did he?

487
00:25:49,971 --> 00:25:54,009
Even Knievel drove like this, like a
white Harley Davidson, with stars and

488
00:25:54,010 --> 00:25:55,060
stripes on the tank.

489
00:25:55,061 --> 00:25:59,119
He had white helmet and leathers with
the stars and stripes on it. I mean, he

490
00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:00,320
had a white leather cape.

491
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:01,530
A cape?

492
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:03,740
Yeah, a cape.

493
00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:06,610
Why would anyone wear a cape on a
motorcycle?

494
00:26:06,611 --> 00:26:11,639
Because it was the 1970s and he wanted
to wear a cape, all right? Now stop

495
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:14,710
having to go at Evel Knievel. The man's
a personal hero of mine.

496
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:21,320
Liberty, before you leave, go and grab
your bag.

497
00:26:21,980 --> 00:26:23,030
It's on my desk.

498
00:27:08,610 --> 00:27:10,550
Roger, I can't make tonight.

499
00:27:11,190 --> 00:27:12,910
Sorry. Why?

500
00:27:13,370 --> 00:27:15,110
I love hot chocolate.

501
00:27:15,740 --> 00:27:18,440
You love hot chocolate. Turns out so
does Barbara.

502
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:20,520
I told her you'd love to take her.

503
00:27:20,700 --> 00:27:22,160
She said she'd love to go.

504
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:26,080
But what are you going to do?

505
00:27:26,360 --> 00:27:27,410
I'll be okay.

506
00:27:27,411 --> 00:27:30,459
Kirsty's coming over later for a couple
of drinks.

507
00:27:30,460 --> 00:27:31,520
Kirsty from the pub?

508
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:33,680
Kirsty that you met at lunchtime?

509
00:27:33,681 --> 00:27:34,799
Yes, Roger.

510
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:35,850
That Kirsty.

511
00:27:36,540 --> 00:27:37,860
Come back didn't take long.

512
00:27:38,700 --> 00:27:39,860
42 years.

513
00:27:40,620 --> 00:27:42,560
I'm really pleased for you, mammoth.

514
00:27:43,100 --> 00:27:45,820
And I'm really grateful about Barbara.
Honestly, I am.

515
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:49,240
But, uh... I'm too old to sleep in a
car.

516
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:51,320
No, I mean come on over to my place.

517
00:27:51,471 --> 00:27:53,499
You're right.

518
00:27:53,500 --> 00:27:54,550
I need to move on.

519
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:56,290
Darling, I might.

520
00:27:56,860 --> 00:27:57,910
Happy birthday.

521
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:04,940
I thought you had an STI.

522
00:28:12,670 --> 00:28:17,989
so much but it's not for mine that i
don't understand you shouldn't worry i

523
00:28:17,990 --> 00:28:23,450
that ain't no crime because if you get
it wrong you'll be right next time

524
00:28:23,500 --> 00:28:28,050
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